\nby Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP<\/span><\/h1>\n
It brings up images of the salt-and-pepper-haired man riding on a Harley with a yoga instructor half his age on the back nuzzling too close to him so that it is difficult for him to drive.\u00a0 Or perhaps a middle-aged woman dressed in clothes she \u201cshouldn\u2019t be wearing\u201d playing kissy-face in Let\u2019s get this out of the way first, women hit their midlife crisis a few years before men. Generally, age 38 to 42, with men it is more in their mid-forties.\u00a0 There was a lot of debate that thought that women don\u2019t really have a midlife crisis, but that is not the truth.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t discriminate between the sexes.\u00a0 When the Botox injections start flowing like soft ice cream in Disney World on a hot Florida summer day, the testosterone inject-able isn\u2019t far behind.\u00a0 Recognizing and handling the midlife crisis is tough business. Suddenly you turn the corner. It is no longer wild partying on the weekend, the 20-somethings bar scene, and worrying about the drama of\u00a0 <\/span>where <\/span>and <\/span>with whom <\/span>you are sleeping that night. Life becomes about watching Disney Channel, sometimes a new set of friends with kids your child\u2019s age, and hoping your mother can intervene with your kids long enough to give you some quiet time or a date night.\u00a0 Sometimes your mother\u2019s or father\u2019s health starts failing and you find yourself splitting time between parenthood and taking care of mom and dad.\u00a0 And all the while you are working to keep the lights on and the mortgage up-to-date. Life is no longer as much fun and drama, and it becomes more doing things for others.\u00a0 You find yourself not liking who you\u2019ve become. Your partner starts to not have the time to appreciate you and you start to realize the two of you have different views on things like discipline. Then it smacks you in the face!\u00a0 <\/span>Hide the flaws, pay up the gym membership, turn up the rock\u2026and\u2026roll, we are born to be wild, born to run, born free.\u00a0 We are walking into the abyss called midlife crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n Other people are having more fun than me. Is this what life is about \u2013 picking up other people\u2019s crap?\u00a0 What happened to the alone time, and the fun, and the partying, and the being appreciated. My partner\u2019s not as hot and sweet, funny and caring anymore. And on the internet are tons of people having more fun that care about me.\u00a0 You forget that people present their ideal self on the internet, not their real self. How do I avoid the rest of my life being this way? Who am I anyway? Why put my life on hold for people that don\u2019t care about me?<\/span><\/p>\n So, that is when the injections start, and the motorcycle, and the dating younger, creating a more interesting life for yourself and perhaps ignoring the people around you who are your staples in your current life.\u00a0 Sometimes even your children. Some stats for you: Harley, the ultimate bounty for a male heading into a midlife crisis, has an average age for the sale of a motorcycle of 47-48 years old.\u00a0 That\u2019s the average age, meaning half were older.\u00a0 Almost 50!\u00a0 About 20 years older than the hot hunks who advertise the bikes. Botox, Dysport and Xeomin, neurotoxins that kill nerve cells but also smooth out wrinkles, have somewhere around 8 million people injecting them in a year. And the original intent of the drug to stop people from becoming cross-eyed has been forgotten. Women are even starting to get the injections in their late 20\u2019s. So, blown up faces, riding around with a high-risk machine between your legs and trying to stay young and viral are all part of the deal. But so is divorce and distancing yourself from the ones you care about.\u00a0 That is the part we don\u2019t like to see.\u00a0 Midlife crisis is a joy unto itself.<\/span><\/p>\n How do we fix it? This is the age-old question about getting some passion back in your life. You\u2019ll see advice like spend 15-20 hours of together time a week or to go on separate vacations to search out what you really want in life. Both are difficult when kids are in your life and you have so much activity to schedule for them, or the money is just not there for family things and private things. Or you can barely stand to be with your spouse. The fact is there is no one answer for this question. It is different for each person and each couple. Some general statements can be made though.<\/span><\/p>\n Midlife crisis is hard to get through, but people and marriages get through it.\u00a0 It takes a little diligence and commitment, but it can be a great part of life.\u00a0 Embrace it and move forward.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Site Administrator:\u00a0 Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Please share this article from down below.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Please join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to your email.\u00a0 Also follow me on Twitter (https:\/\/twitter.com\/ThinBlueMind<\/a>) for other articles and ideas, and YouTube at\u00a0https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCfjNw0510ipr3bX587IvAHg<\/a> .<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Police Psychology:\u00a0 MidLife Crisis by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP It brings up images of the salt-and-pepper-haired man riding on a Harley with a yoga instructor half his age on the back nuzzling too close to him so that it is difficult for him to drive.\u00a0 Or perhaps a middle-aged woman dressed in clothes she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17168886],"tags":[17168978,17168797,17168831],"class_list":["post-5513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-priorities","tag-midlife-crisis","tag-police-psychology","tag-police-stress"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3915,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=3915","url_meta":{"origin":5513,"position":0},"title":"Police Psychology | Myth of Emotional Opposites: Video Post","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"August 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | The Myth of Emotional Opposites:\u00a0 Video Post by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.\u00a0 ABPP A myth that holds people back from having a good time in life if in a crisis. \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Emotions"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Emotions","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17165629"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":54,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=54","url_meta":{"origin":5513,"position":1},"title":"Book Review: Crisis Negotiations: Managing Critical Incidents and Hostage Situations in Law Enforcement and Corrections","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"January 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I have been honored to give keynote addresses at a couple conferences for the Texas Hostage Negotiators and the FBI Crisis Teams and found them to be a very different type of cop.\u00a0 They are humble but at the same time show a lot of confidence.\u00a0 They have a way\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"crisis negotiations","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/crisis-negotiations-244x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1356,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=1356","url_meta":{"origin":5513,"position":2},"title":"Sports to Law Enforcement: Seven Success Lessons from Sports","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"March 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Sports to Law Enforcement: Seven Success Lessons from Sports \u00a0Guest Blogger Dr. Bill Cottringer has worked and taught in the criminal justice field for over 50 years and currently serves as Executive VP for Puget Sound Security companies in Bellevue, WA.\u00a0 He has published 9 books and over 250 professional\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Effort"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Effort","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168880"},"img":{"alt_text":"Rugby, police psychology","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Rugby-188x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=11","url_meta":{"origin":5513,"position":3},"title":"Book Review: “Psychological Aspects of Crisis Negotiation”","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"January 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"What hits you first is the organization of the material.\u00a0 When I read Psychological Aspects of Crisis Negotiation by Thomas Strenz (Taylor and Francis Publishers, Boca Raton, Fla. 2006), I didn\u2019t expect to see what I saw.\u00a0 I guess I expected another rehashing of hostage negotiation materials, but what I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"Thomas Strenz","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/strenz-199x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6203,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=6203","url_meta":{"origin":5513,"position":4},"title":"Police Psychology | Stress Inoculation: Not Just for Gunfights","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"July 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Stress Inoculation:\u00a0 Not Just for Gunfights by Patricia A. Robinson, Ph.D. Sonoita, Arizona \u00a0If you Google \u201cpolice stress inoculation shooting,\u201d you\u2019ll get about 300,000 results, with titles like \u201cWhy your firearms training MUST include stress inoculation drills.\u201d Acute stress induces the so-called \u201cfight or flight\u201d response, stimulating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Police Stress"","block_context":{"text":"Police Stress","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168885"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1046,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=1046","url_meta":{"origin":5513,"position":5},"title":"Police Psychology | The Time Management Matrix as a Mental Health Concept","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"February 4, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | The Time Management Matrix as a Mental Health Concept \u00a0 Anyone involved in police psychology knows how important it is to understand proper time management. However, the technique I use can be applied to anyone in any field. Basically I had come up with this technique years\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Avoiding Being a Missing Person"","block_context":{"text":"Avoiding Being a Missing Person","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168886"},"img":{"alt_text":"Police psychology: time management matrix","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/time-management-matrix-300x218.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p60sbO-1qV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5513","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5513"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5566,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5513\/revisions\/5566"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/motorcycle.png?resize=300%2C137\")
the corner of a bar with a young muscle-bound Adonis, not much older than the son she could have popped out at 22.\u00a0 If I could circulate a sign-up sheet for these two scenarios, it wouldn\u2019t make it past half the room. \u00a0There is something sort of fun about the midlife crisis.\u00a0 Why is the midlife crisis so all encompassing, and why is it so predictable?<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n\n