When I finished my doctoral dissertation, I had mesmerized my committee with a great presentation and knew just about everything ever published on my topic: \u201ctraining parents to make kids behave.\u201d\u00a0 I literally knew I started writing and came up with 111 things including build a career, go to Paris and Italy, begin to learn to speak Italian.\u00a0 Then I started thinking big and came up with sing on a gondola in Venice, cook in a French restaurant in France, travel to the furtherest point in the earth, see a national championship football game again, save a life, be in a movie, etc., etc.\u00a0 I wanted some things that were a little out there, but surprisingly it made me feel better to dream and to take the time to think of myself and what I wanted to do.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t realize the power of the \u201cwish list\u201d until a few years later. When I had become a police psychologist.<\/span><\/p>\n At the FBI National Academy, people come from all over the world to sit through classes for a couple of months and learn the most advanced \u2018state of the art\u2019 in policing.\u00a0 Departments generally send their rising officers to get training in the newest police techniques and tactics.\u00a0 I was teaching in the SMILE (Stress Management in Law Enforcement) course that was started as an answer to the most requested type of training in the academy.\u00a0 I would go in and talk about simplifying life in law enforcement and I did the \u201cWish List\u201d exercise with the whole class.\u00a0 \u201cTell me what you would like to do in your life and think big.\u201d\u00a0 I got answers like drive a race car, meet the pope, and the most frequent was skydive.\u00a0 The phenomenon I didn\u2019t expect was right after someone would tell what it was they wanted, another person would say \u201cI have a friend with a race car in Darlington South Carolina, let me give him a call.\u201d\u00a0 Then, a few weeks later I would get a picture sent to me on email of the guy driving a race car in Darlington.\u00a0 I\u2019d get pictures of people skydiving.\u00a0 I set up one guy to act in a movie I was working on and it happened to be a day where playboy playmates were on the set.\u00a0 He was my friend for life.\u00a0 I got one picture of a guy standing next to Pope John Paul, and Steven Tyler and Jaclyn Smith and Arnold Schwarznegger\u2026 a whole lot of fantasy people that someone was guarding or just happened to know.\u00a0 You see, it appears when you tell your dreams to other people, they become helpers for you getting your wish list fulfilled.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had this experience in most of the 400 seminars I have taught around the world.<\/span><\/p>\n I like to use this in all kinds of therapy I am doing.\u00a0 Everyone has dreams at some point in their life, even the most depressed or the most anxious person.\u00a0 When they become a little free from the bounds of their depression or anxiety, that is when I pull out the \u201cwish list.\u201d\u00a0 Wish lists really work in marital therapy once people stop arguing.\u00a0 When a person tells their spouse what they dream about, you really get two people dedicated to following a dream and that always brings people together.\u00a0 The \u201cwish list\u201d is a powerful tool and in fact most reading this will be picturing their wish list.\u00a0 And I expect to hear from a few of you.<\/span><\/p>\n Well, I acted in a movie because I was consulting on it and told the director I wanted to act in a movie.\u00a0 I became the serial killer in a Columbia Tri-Star movie and even made a headline in the National Enquirer \u201cPolice Psychologist Becomes Serial Killer.\u201d\u00a0 I sang for a day on a gondola because, after a couple of Campari\u2019s, I told a friendly gondolier I wanted to sing on a gondola in Venice.\u00a0 I asked a friendly waiter in Paris how to make a dish and ended up cooking in a French restaurant, actually drinking wine in the back with a French Executive chef while I pretended to cook.\u00a0 I ran a conference in Italy and had to speak pigeon Italian while there.\u00a0 I went to Antarctica because someone who heard my dream put my name in as a psychologist to work there.\u00a0 I actually have done 108 of my original 111 things.\u00a0 I wanted to catch a giant tuna, see the Parthenon, and dine at the White House which are the only three not met.\u00a0\u00a0 I am not likely to do the boat thing on open seas at my age and balance level, but the other two I still have hopes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n More important is learning the technique of building a \u201cwish list\u201d and making it happen by telling other people.\u00a0 It is good to dream sometimes and it is really good to write it down and let people know.\u00a0 The next time you do a training, or you are at a conference, or you are just talking with someone in your squad, ask them what they would really dream about doing.\u00a0 After the usual sexual fantasy stuff, people really do like talking about their dreams and it will make you much closer to them.\u00a0 Building a \u201cwish list\u201d is important for all of us to accomplish and it will be good for you.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Site Administrator:\u00a0 Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Please share this article from down below.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Please join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to your email.\u00a0 Also follow me on Twitter (https:\/\/twitter.com\/ThinBlueMind<\/a>) for other articles and ideas, and YouTube at\u00a0https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCfjNw0510ipr3bX587IvAHg<\/a> .<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Police Psychology:\u00a0 Wish List by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.\u00a0 ABPP When I finished my doctoral dissertation, I had mesmerized my committee with a great presentation and knew just about everything ever published on my topic: \u201ctraining parents to make kids behave.\u201d\u00a0 I literally knew more then anyone in the room on the topic and when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17168878],"tags":[17168855,17168803,17168797],"class_list":["post-5610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-dreams","tag-police","tag-police-psychology"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7132,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=7132","url_meta":{"origin":5610,"position":0},"title":"Police Psychology Book Review: Towards the integration of police psychology techniques to combat juvenile delinquency in K-12 classrooms","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"December 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology Book Review:\u00a0 Rose, Gary. (2013) Towards the integration of police psychology techniques to combat juvenile delinquency in K-12 classrooms by Paul Cech \u00a0 Gary Rose revised his doctoral dissertation to create a book that will be of special interest to readers who are peace officers; teachers; police, school,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2682,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=2682","url_meta":{"origin":5610,"position":1},"title":"Police Psychology | Too Much Ugly","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0Police Psychology | Too Much Ugly By Robin Kroll, PsyD ABPP \u00a0 When officer Frank arrived at the scene of the crash, he knew immediately there was a fatality. He found the teenage driver ejected, lying on the side of the road, dying. In his attempt to give aid, he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Police Stress"","block_context":{"text":"Police Stress","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168885"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":386,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=386","url_meta":{"origin":5610,"position":2},"title":"Police Psychology | The Police Candidate Interpretive Report","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The Police Candidate Interpretive Report \u00a0 I had one of the first cell phones for public consumption.\u00a0 It fit in a bag.\u00a0 The battery lasted minutes not hours, and it was essentially a car phone that could be moved around.\u00a0 But visions of Dick Tracy\u2019s watch and Agent 86\u2019s shoe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Tests"","block_context":{"text":"Tests","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168877"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=36","url_meta":{"origin":5610,"position":3},"title":"Book Review: Personality Assessment in Police Psychology","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"February 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I have to admit, I had no intention of reading this book in one sitting, in fact, I was only really going to read about half of the essays in this collection of essays.\u00a0 I have to admit I was invited to write a chapter in this book but really\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"Weiss","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/weiss-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6097,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=6097","url_meta":{"origin":5610,"position":4},"title":"Police Psychology: 27 Symptoms of Anxiety","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology:\u00a0 27 Symptoms of Anxiety \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Site Administrator:\u00a0 Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP Please share this article from down below. Please join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to your email.\u00a0 Also follow me on Twitter (https:\/\/twitter.com\/ThinBlueMind) for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Police Stress"","block_context":{"text":"Police Stress","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168885"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6795,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=6795","url_meta":{"origin":5610,"position":5},"title":"Police Psychology: Christmas","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"December 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Christmas by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP \u00a0 \u00a0 Site Administrator:\u00a0 Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP Please share this article from down below. Please join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to your email.\u00a0 Also follow me on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Emotions"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Emotions","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17165629"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p60sbO-1su","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5610"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5653,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5610\/revisions\/5653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Cop-with-family1.jpg?resize=221%2C174\")
more then anyone in the room on the topic and when I left the room, everyone was supposedly impressed as hell. \u00a0Then I came back in the room, and was told that they felt I was too obsessed with the topic and I needed to learn how to live instead of just the science.\u00a0 See my mom had died in my first year of graduate school, and I had finished a five-year program in 3 \u00bd years, and my dissertation was three times the size of most of the dissertations they had seen. The committee gave me an exercise in the book The Magic of Thinking Big<\/u><\/em><\/strong> and said I wasn\u2019t finished my school until I did the exercise.\u00a0 I was in shock, but I went home and absorbed the book before I went to sleep (I guess I did tend to obsess) and the exercise was to make a \u201cwish list\u201d of the things I wanted to do in my life.\u00a0 My list should be 100 items long and I was to think big.<\/span><\/p>\n