{"id":6744,"date":"2017-11-22T08:48:21","date_gmt":"2017-11-22T13:48:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=6744"},"modified":"2017-11-22T09:00:20","modified_gmt":"2017-11-22T14:00:20","slug":"police-psychology-no-more-drama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=6744","title":{"rendered":"Police Psychology: No More Drama"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Police Psychology:\u00a0 No More Drama<\/h1>\n

by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP<\/p>\n

I had pneumonia!\u00a0 I just got over it I guess, although I hack as I write.\u00a0 One off my staff caught it on a cruise to Russia, and I woke up with it on Saturday last week, in case you were wondering why there was no communication from me for two weeks.\u00a0 It kicks your butt.\u00a0 Makes you think it might be your last cold ever \u2014 that you\u2019re gonna die!\u00a0 And that always puts a new perspective on life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember writing about the \u201cmoment of truth\u201d in my book Keeping It Simple<\/u><\/i><\/b>. (I\u2019ll send you a free copy on .pdf if your write me.)\u00a0 I wrote about an imaginary time when you are told you have one month to live.\u00a0 What do you choose to do with your life?\u00a0 Dream of all the possessions you never got, or mourn that your life was over, or spend the last few breaths with loved ones and people who have been close to you.\u00a0 Would you look to complicate your life or simplify your life?<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, everyone is supposed to say simplify.\u00a0 That\u2019s what books do is trap you in the premise of the book.\u00a0 And it was written in the early 90\u2019s when I was a pup in my late 30\u2019s, so it made sense to write it that way.\u00a0 But what I didn\u2019t know back then, and it takes a while to realize, is that some people just look to \u201ccreate drama\u201d in their life, re3gardless of the situation.\u00a0 And as much as you tell people to simplify, drama is always created by these people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have written about them.\u00a0 I called them \u201cBrain Eaters<\/a>\u201d and I took the side of how to not let a Brain Eater rent space in your<\/u><\/b> brain.\u00a0 But I have never addressed the person that always finds a lot of drama in their life.\u00a0 And there is no better place for drama then the holidays, when you are forced with people who often think they have a say in your life because of the family you were born into.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, let\u2019s get down to it.\u00a0 If you wake up and say there is a ton of drama in your life over a long period, what do you take a look at?\u00a0 I am constantly telling people the first step to simplifying is to get a few empty garbage bags and start tossing things out.\u00a0 Well, unfortunately it is the same with too much drama.\u00a0 Reduce the complexity by lowering the amount and type of people you are associated with.\u00a0 If there is someone that constantly creates drama that can be purged from your life, purge them.\u00a0 If they can\u2019t be purged, limit the amount of effect they have on you, or essentially make them less important.\u00a0 That is step one to reduce drama, but sometimes that means backing off from long-time friends or even relationships that are constant drama producers. \u00a0You\u2019ll end up better, believe me.<\/span><\/p>\n

The next step in reducing drama is to reduce the amount of extra organizations that you are playing an active role in.\u00a0 Just like if your kid was overly stressed you would cut them back a soccer league or two, or a dance troupe, sometimes you have to make a decision to stop being president of the motorcycle club or the South Eastern Georgia Patrolman\u2019s Fund or the professional organization that is creating too much drama in your life.\u00a0 Often you love the organization but some of the people are just too needy or demanding.\u00a0 If you find yourself stressed to the max from the drama of a volunteer job, or thinking about it constantly, sometimes you have to leave it.\u00a0 In my experience, what often starts as a pleasant job has a shelf life and if you are beyond the shelf life, it just might be over.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, turn your focus on your loved ones.\u00a0 Tell them you will help solve their problems, but they must take the drama out of it.\u00a0 You will only have to remind them every 90 seconds, but after ten or twelve times it will go to 2 minutes then three and eventually you won\u2019t have to remind them as much.\u00a0 Focus your attention on helping them.\u00a0 Most readers of mine tend to be caretakers.\u00a0 They take care of other people and enjoy it when there is no drama.\u00a0 Let people know you will help, but you want a drama-free zone.\u00a0 You see simplifying the drama in your life is really simple, but people mistake simple for easy.\u00a0 Simplifying means giving up and that is simple, but not always easy.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Site Administrator:\u00a0 Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Please share this article from down below.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Please join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to your email.\u00a0 Also follow me on Twitter (https:\/\/twitter.com\/ThinBlueMind<\/a>) for other articles and ideas, and YouTube at\u00a0https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCfjNw0510ipr3bX587IvAHg<\/a> .<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Police Psychology:\u00a0 No More Drama by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP I had pneumonia!\u00a0 I just got over it I guess, although I hack as I write.\u00a0 One off my staff caught it on a cruise to Russia, and I woke up with it on Saturday last week, in case you were wondering why there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17168885],"tags":[17169018,17168803,17168797],"class_list":["post-6744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stress","tag-drama","tag-police","tag-police-psychology"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3221,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=3221","url_meta":{"origin":6744,"position":0},"title":"Police Psychology | Not-So Fantastic Four","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"July 13, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Not-So-Fantastic Four by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.\u00a0 ABPP The Human Torch, the Invisible Woman, the Thing and Mr. Fantastic are Marvel's creation of four people with super powers who work together as a team to stop crime.\u00a0 Not one of their powers is complete, but together they\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Police Stress"","block_context":{"text":"Police Stress","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168885"},"img":{"alt_text":"BURSTRESS","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/BURSTRES-300x210.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":386,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=386","url_meta":{"origin":6744,"position":1},"title":"Police Psychology | The Police Candidate Interpretive Report","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The Police Candidate Interpretive Report \u00a0 I had one of the first cell phones for public consumption.\u00a0 It fit in a bag.\u00a0 The battery lasted minutes not hours, and it was essentially a car phone that could be moved around.\u00a0 But visions of Dick Tracy\u2019s watch and Agent 86\u2019s shoe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Tests"","block_context":{"text":"Tests","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168877"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=36","url_meta":{"origin":6744,"position":2},"title":"Book Review: Personality Assessment in Police Psychology","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"February 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I have to admit, I had no intention of reading this book in one sitting, in fact, I was only really going to read about half of the essays in this collection of essays.\u00a0 I have to admit I was invited to write a chapter in this book but really\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"Weiss","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/weiss-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":376,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=376","url_meta":{"origin":6744,"position":3},"title":"Police Psychology | Get Your Butt Moving","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Get Your Butt Moving \u00a0 You don\u2019t normally think of Isaac Newton or Galileo Galilei when you think about police psychology, but that is a mistake. These two weird-looking men while daydreaming under that apple tree or looking up at the stars came up with a theory that explains much\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Effort"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Effort","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168880"},"img":{"alt_text":"Police psychology: inertia ","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/train-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":944,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=944","url_meta":{"origin":6744,"position":4},"title":"Police Psychology | Majestic Ballroom","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"December 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | When You Start Out You Never Know Where You'll Wind Up By Ellen Kirschman I started out to be an actress and ended up as a police psychologist writing mysteries inspired by my clients. \u201cActing is physical,\u201c my first drama teacher roared as though still on stage.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stories"","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Police Stress, Police Psychology","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Right-Wrong-Thing-for-Ellen.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5092,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=5092","url_meta":{"origin":6744,"position":5},"title":"Police Psychology | The Obsessed Mind-Body Connection","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"January 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | The Obsessed Mind-Body Connection by Gary S. 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