by Gary S. Aumiller, PH.D.\u00a0 ABPP<\/span><\/h1>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
So I was riding on a train on Wednesday of last week, ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/santa-thumbs.jpg?resize=269%2C179\")
December 13, 2017, at 6 am in the morning going into New York City for a OASAS seminar.\u00a0 OASAS is the certifying group that allows you to do evaluations on <\/span>people<\/span> who got a DWI\u00a0 and recommend the type of treatment they need.\u00a0 I sat down and noticed in the car I was riding on in the train every person, regardless of age, was looking at the phone.\u00a0 I stood up to looked around and over the seats and every last person was looking at Facebook or YouTube or texting or for whatever reason was phone involved.\u00a0 I had my phone packed away in my briefcase and wasn\u2019t going to open it because I never really commuted into the city, so I wanted the experience of watching people on the phone.\u00a0 Then I looked out the window and an absolutely gorgeous sunrise was starting.\u00a0 It was one of those crisp cold clear winter days and the sunrise was there for all to see.\u00a0 Dark shades of red and orange and it looked so absolutely beautiful contrasting some of the dark buildings of Queens New York.\u00a0 It was a sunrise that perhaps you only get 15 of these gems in your whole life and it was there outside the window for all to admire.\u00a0 At least if they\u2019d lift their heads from the phone, which I was the only person on a crowded train that did.\u00a0 I thanked God for giving me a stunning sunrise to watch all by myself, a show just for me apparently.\u00a0 I hoped someone else saw it too, but in my car.<\/span><\/p>\nAnnoying little kids excited about Santa coming or the Hanukkah fairy, or whatever\u2019s coming.\u00a0 Funny how they forget parents have feelings too.\u00a0 Annoying bosses that want work done before the end of the year.\u00a0 Or quotas to meet\u00a0 before the holidays.\u00a0 Christmas parties we want to go to, combined with Christmas parties we don\u2019t want to go to, combined with a get together we are having at the house where we only wish we could narrow the attendance list by one or two less desirables.\u00a0 Then the family Christmas or Christmas Eve dinner.\u00a0 It is amazing any of us make it through this time.<\/span><\/p>\nSo, it is no wonder that people have perpetuated the myth that suicide rates are the highest in the holiday season.\u00a0 Then they issue the warning \u201cwatch your friends and watch your neighbors to determine if someone is trying to \u2018off\u2019 themselves.\u201d\u00a0 (It is sort of like the myth that officers commit suicide at a higher rate than the general public<\/a>).\u00a0 All are myths or misused statistics perpetuated by people telling them over and over for impact.\u00a0 In fact, the lowest suicide rates are in November and December.\u00a0 Now, one suicide is one too many and leaves a family devastated and wondering what they could have done differently, but the overall effect of the holiday on suicide is very little.\u00a0 Felt stress, however is highly raised at Christmas.<\/span><\/p>\nNow for the good news and the bad news.\u00a0 Good news it will be over in a week.\u00a0 Bad news \u2013 stress is usually felt after the event and Christmas stress may linger into February.\u00a0 Higher level of anxiety and depression are reported in February through April, the months of Christmas reckoning.\u00a0 So, what is some advice for making the holidays smoother.\u00a0 Three simple tenets.<\/span><\/p>\n\n- Be non-judgmental \u2013 Let people be themselves. Correction at Christmas will just start fights.\u00a0 Let some people brag, and some be mischievous, others get beat up or show off their skills, and some be humble all without an ounce of your comment.\u00a0 I always say to clients who get stressed out frequently:\u00a0 \u201csit back and enjoy the show.\u201d\u00a0 If your injection into a scene is not necessary, just enjoy the show and laugh at it.\u00a0 People are going to hold grudges or change plans, so you are better off letting people be themselves.<\/span><\/li>\n
- Keep extremely positive \u2013 Ever find that when a group like a family gets together it is the sick and the deceased that tends to control the family conversation. Time to get up and walk away, or turn the conversation to good things about the person who is deceased.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a good thing we are all doing well at this table.\u201d\u00a0 Holiday are not the best time to talk about your ills.\u00a0 This goes for all parts of life.\u00a0 If you can turn it positive, you can have a better holiday.<\/span><\/li>\n
- Play \u2013 Many forget to play when the Christmas time comes. Play with the kids, play with the adult, turn it into the Christmas of play.\u00a0 We don\u2019t play enough when we are adults.\u00a0 Stop the anxiety with play.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be surprised how much it help pass time.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
December 13, 2017, at 6 am in the morning going into New York City for a OASAS seminar.\u00a0 OASAS is the certifying group that allows you to do evaluations on <\/span>people<\/span> who got a DWI\u00a0 and recommend the type of treatment they need.\u00a0 I sat down and noticed in the car I was riding on in the train every person, regardless of age, was looking at the phone.\u00a0 I stood up to looked around and over the seats and every last person was looking at Facebook or YouTube or texting or for whatever reason was phone involved.\u00a0 I had my phone packed away in my briefcase and wasn\u2019t going to open it because I never really commuted into the city, so I wanted the experience of watching people on the phone.\u00a0 Then I looked out the window and an absolutely gorgeous sunrise was starting.\u00a0 It was one of those crisp cold clear winter days and the sunrise was there for all to see.\u00a0 Dark shades of red and orange and it looked so absolutely beautiful contrasting some of the dark buildings of Queens New York.\u00a0 It was a sunrise that perhaps you only get 15 of these gems in your whole life and it was there outside the window for all to admire.\u00a0 At least if they\u2019d lift their heads from the phone, which I was the only person on a crowded train that did.\u00a0 I thanked God for giving me a stunning sunrise to watch all by myself, a show just for me apparently.\u00a0 I hoped someone else saw it too, but in my car.<\/span><\/p>\nAnnoying little kids excited about Santa coming or the Hanukkah fairy, or whatever\u2019s coming.\u00a0 Funny how they forget parents have feelings too.\u00a0 Annoying bosses that want work done before the end of the year.\u00a0 Or quotas to meet\u00a0 before the holidays.\u00a0 Christmas parties we want to go to, combined with Christmas parties we don\u2019t want to go to, combined with a get together we are having at the house where we only wish we could narrow the attendance list by one or two less desirables.\u00a0 Then the family Christmas or Christmas Eve dinner.\u00a0 It is amazing any of us make it through this time.<\/span><\/p>\n So, it is no wonder that people have perpetuated the myth that suicide rates are the highest in the holiday season.\u00a0 Then they issue the warning \u201cwatch your friends and watch your neighbors to determine if someone is trying to \u2018off\u2019 themselves.\u201d\u00a0 (It is sort of like the myth that officers commit suicide at a higher rate than the general public<\/a>).\u00a0 All are myths or misused statistics perpetuated by people telling them over and over for impact.\u00a0 In fact, the lowest suicide rates are in November and December.\u00a0 Now, one suicide is one too many and leaves a family devastated and wondering what they could have done differently, but the overall effect of the holiday on suicide is very little.\u00a0 Felt stress, however is highly raised at Christmas.<\/span><\/p>\n Now for the good news and the bad news.\u00a0 Good news it will be over in a week.\u00a0 Bad news \u2013 stress is usually felt after the event and Christmas stress may linger into February.\u00a0 Higher level of anxiety and depression are reported in February through April, the months of Christmas reckoning.\u00a0 So, what is some advice for making the holidays smoother.\u00a0 Three simple tenets.<\/span><\/p>\n\n