{"id":983,"date":"2016-01-19T06:21:08","date_gmt":"2016-01-19T11:21:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=983"},"modified":"2016-02-10T10:35:51","modified_gmt":"2016-02-10T15:35:51","slug":"police-psychology-the-short-list-of-human-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=983","title":{"rendered":"Police Psychology | THE SHORT LIST OF HUMAN PROBLEMS"},"content":{"rendered":"

Police Psychology | THE SHORT LIST OF HUMAN PROBLEMS<\/h1>\n

Marla W. Friedman Psy.D., Board of Directors-Badge of Life<\/span><\/p>\n

Immediate Past Chair PPSS\/ILACP,\u00a0 Booklight@att.net<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the last 35 years I have provided psychotherapy services to a wide range of patients, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. I have worked with people from every profession. However it is my experiences with veterans, law enforcement and public safety personnel that have been some of the most challenging and satisfying work that I have been involved in.<\/span><\/p>\n

Over the years I have compiled this list to distribute to patients who are in public service so they can see that they are not alone in their struggles. I do not give the list to every patient, as I want to protect law enforcement from repercussions from the public, as some of the issues should remain private within their profession.<\/span><\/p>\n

We can all identify with some of these statements but some are unique to under cover agents, dispatchers, firefighters and police officers.\u00a0\u00a0 As a result of my good fortune to work with these remarkable and brave women and men I developed this list I call, \u201cThe Short List of Human Problems.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I have bad credit.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t afford the life I\u2019m living.<\/span><\/p>\n

My job consumes my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how to set boundaries between my job and my personal life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have family conflict that is getting worse and worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

My relationships with my significant other and children are deteriorating daily.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t feel emotionally close to anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have dropped my friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel <\/span><\/p>\n

helpless.<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt helpless in the past on the job.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel I have no control over things that are happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

I only hang out with other cops.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how to raise children.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to fuck-up my kids.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am afraid of losing my children.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want the respect of my children.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t confide in my spouse or significant other.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I wish I were dead.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m having an affair.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had multiple affairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m currently separated from my spouse or significant other.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want people to know my secrets.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to tell someone my secrets because they are killing me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m divorced.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had multiple divorces.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve lost respect for myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m adopted and it bothers me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most people are assholes.<\/span><\/p>\n

I grew up in foster care.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to adopt children.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t like or want children.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have fertility issues.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have financial problems.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have caused someone to die.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have seen dead bodies.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve lost my confidence in my decision-making.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have seen dying and dead children.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have killed a child.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have seen too many dead people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to see others in pain anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

My boss doesn\u2019t care if I get killed as long as I get the job done.<\/span><\/p>\n

No one would miss me if I were gone.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to cause pain to others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m glad when bothersome people die.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to kill someone.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have killed someone in my personal life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m involved in illegal activity on the job.<\/span><\/p>\n

My peers are involved in illegal activity with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have done something illegal and I can\u2019t undo it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have obsessive thoughts that bother me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have behaviors I feel compelled to do, but I don\u2019t understand why.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been bullied and taunted on the job.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want anyone in the department to know I\u2019m gay.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve bullied others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m being blackmailed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am the only female in my department.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have been sexually harassed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m trapped by my previous actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in too deep and I can\u2019t see a way out.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t correct the things I\u2019ve done wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel angry all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid I will cry in front of others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have tampered with evidence because I was pressured to do so.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have tampered with evidence because it was right and just in the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n

I lie<\/span><\/p>\n

I steal.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel guilty about things I\u2019ve thought or done.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t feel guilt.<\/span><\/p>\n

My life is in danger by people I know.<\/span><\/p>\n

My life is in danger because I am in law enforcement.<\/span><\/p>\n

People don\u2019t respect me because I am in law enforcement.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have perjured myself in court to protect others or myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have perjured myself because I thought it was the right thing to do in the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel sick all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have panic attacks.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m embarrassed about my feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel like I can\u2019t learn things fast enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t believe in God.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t believe in God anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

God has saved me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I could believe in God.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel frustrated with technology.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel like I can never catch up on all of the things I\u2019m supposed to be doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hear voices that other people don\u2019t hear and it bothers me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a hard time trusting anyone anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have fears and phobias that I hide from other people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid if I go for counseling I\u2019ll be misdiagnosed as crazy, and I\u2019m not.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I think I\u2019m crazy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I don\u2019t feel like a real person.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how I got here.<\/span><\/p>\n

My sense of time is off.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel shame.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have intrusive thought about events I was involved with.<\/span><\/p>\n

I sometimes get confused.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have isolated myself personally and professionally.<\/span><\/p>\n

I drink too much alcohol.<\/span><\/p>\n

I misuse prescription drugs.<\/span><\/p>\n

I use street drugs.<\/span><\/p>\n

I gamble too much.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a sex addiction.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have unusual sexual interests.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t share my sexual preferences with my spouse or significant other.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m addicted to pornography.<\/span><\/p>\n

I rely on prostitutes.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a lot of credit card debt.<\/span><\/p>\n

I over rely on caffeine, sugar and fast foods.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m caring for my aging parents.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have an ill child.<\/span><\/p>\n

My child is dying.<\/span><\/p>\n

My child or children are dead.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am devastated by the loss of a pet.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a history of sexual abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a history of physical abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a history of emotional abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a history of verbal abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am an abuser.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am frequently agitated and I snap at people I love.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have or continue to abuse people physically, emotionally, sexually or verbally.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have witnessed abuse of many kinds.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hate myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand how someone could love me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have stolen money.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have difficulty feeling sexually aroused.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t have an orgasm.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel worthless.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hate people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been betrayed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid to tell anyone my thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have problems with my memory.<\/span><\/p>\n

I worry constantly about my health.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have medical problems that interfere with my personal life and my job.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am in agony.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want anyone to know that there is something very wrong with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to disappoint my family.<\/span><\/p>\n

My children hate me.<\/span><\/p>\n

My children are disappointed with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I continue to break promises to my family.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to disappoint my chief.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hate my chief.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to appear weak.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid to go on an antidepressant drug.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am exhausted all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I see things other people don\u2019t see and it scares me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand my thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand my impulses.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am a veteran and I can\u2019t adjust to life back home.<\/span><\/p>\n

No one can understand what I\u2019ve been through.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen extreme injuries to others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have seen people killed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have killed someone in my professional life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m lonely and feel trapped inside a false personality.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid to reach out to anybody.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid of negative judgment by others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m suspicious of other people\u2019s motives.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never learned how to identify my feelings or sort them out.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m alone now.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid of losing my job.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had a concussion on the job.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I feel like I can\u2019t breathe.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid I am going to start crying in front of others.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I want to leave law enforcement entirely.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have taken a life in the line of duty and it haunts me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have taken a life in the line of duty and it doesn\u2019t bother me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am enraged and it interferes with my life on every level.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am sad.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am depressed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think about suicide.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a plan of how I would take my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I intend to take my own life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m numb. I don\u2019t feel anything anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m scared.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m anxious all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m having panic attacks.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have chest pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I ache all over.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to sleep all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have nightmares.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hate my ex.<\/span><\/p>\n

I snore.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have restless leg syndrome.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have diabetes.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have medical problems I ignore.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m losing my vision.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m losing my hearing.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want anyone to know that I\u2019m falling apart.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid I have cancer or a terminal disease.<\/span><\/p>\n

I engage in risky behavior more and more.<\/span><\/p>\n

Please take care of my family. I can\u2019t do it anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m surprised when good things happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never resolved issues from my past and they are interfering with my life today.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m always on edge. I can\u2019t relax.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m always on high alert because I have to be, but it\u2019s wearing me out.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was born in another country and I feel isolated because of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have survived a natural or manmade disaster and I feel guilty about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Someone in my family has killed himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was raped by someone in my department.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think other people are smarter than me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I can\u2019t get my words out.<\/span><\/p>\n

I take my rage out on innocent people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wonder if I am Bipolar.<\/span><\/p>\n

I try to avoid conflict if I can.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel jealous of people who seem happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid of germs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I like to feel out of control.<\/span><\/p>\n

I try to stay in strict control.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have flashbacks of bad things.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes a smell or sound takes me back to a traumatic incident.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am good at manipulating other people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I eat in my sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have fired my weapon in my sleep, and don\u2019t know it until I see the evidence in the morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I can\u2019t stop talking.<\/span><\/p>\n

My mind won\u2019t slow down.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m way behind on my paper work.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I\u2019m afraid to leave my house.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t always answer my phone because I want to avoid people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am frequently asked, am I normal, do other people think and act like this? I\u2019m sure as clinicians you have heard and treated these same problems. Feel free to contact me to add to the list and use it if you think it will help with your patients.<\/span><\/p>\n

I realize these statements and questions are just the tip of the iceberg. Patients feel relieved after reading the list though, sometimes they cry when they read it because it hits home. Then they are able to articulate issues that they had previously been afraid to talk about. Knowing they aren\u2019t alone and seeing their issues on the list allows them to open up and start to deal with some very scary topics. These issues can be treated and they need to hear that from us.<\/span><\/p>\n

Blog Administrator: Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP
\n<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Please share this article from down below.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Please join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to your email.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Come back regularly for more updated blogs on police psychology<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Police Psychology | THE SHORT LIST OF HUMAN PROBLEMS Marla W. Friedman Psy.D., Board of Directors-Badge of Life Immediate Past Chair PPSS\/ILACP,\u00a0 Booklight@att.net \u00a0 In the last 35 years I have provided psychotherapy services to a wide range of patients, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. I have worked with people from every profession. However […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17168882],"tags":[17168868,17168869,17168870],"class_list":["post-983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-resilience","tag-police-pscyhology","tag-problems","tag-stresss"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":682,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=682","url_meta":{"origin":983,"position":0},"title":"Police Psychology | Fit To Be A Cop? How Much Testing is Enough?","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"September 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"POLICE PSYCHOLOGY | FIT TO BE A COP?\u00a0 HOW MUCH PSYCH TESTING IS ENOUGH? 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(2013) Towards the integration of police psychology techniques to combat juvenile delinquency in K-12 classrooms by Paul Cech \u00a0 Gary Rose revised his doctoral dissertation to create a book that will be of special interest to readers who are peace officers; teachers; police, school,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1456,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=1456","url_meta":{"origin":983,"position":2},"title":"Police Psychology | \u201cBRING A BUDDY\u201d","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"April 12, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | \u201cBRING A BUDDY\u201d By: Marla Friedman, Psy.D. PC Police Psychologist Executive Board-Badge of Life For years I have been training First Responders on the importance of seeking and maintaining good mental health. As you can imagine I\u2019ve come up against a lot of resistance. Fighting the stigma\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Other Tools"","block_context":{"text":"Other Tools","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168889"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5851,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=5851","url_meta":{"origin":983,"position":3},"title":"Police Psychology | Master Police Coaches: \u201cBuilding A Better Cop\u201d","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"May 3, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Master Police Coaches: \u201cBuilding A Better Cop\u201d Marla Friedman, Police Psychologist \u00a0 Born out of the academy, the Probationer is a blank slate. Mega assembly required running the gamut from appropriate deployment of de-escalation and tactical skills training, mental health and suicide prevention techniques, and development of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Public Information Bureau"","block_context":{"text":"Public Information Bureau","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168888"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Yerkes-Dodson-law-300x222.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":842,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=842","url_meta":{"origin":983,"position":4},"title":"Police Psychology | Apples to Orangutans: Life\u2019s Comparisons","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"November 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Apples to Orangutans: Life\u2019s Comparisons \u00a0 Police psychology has to constantly deal with comparisons cops make. It is essential to cut them off before they get to be a big problem. What comparisons you ask? \u201cI can\u2019t believe that every day I have to deal with Skylar\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Thoughts","link":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168878"},"img":{"alt_text":"Police Psychology, oragutans","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/oragutans-200x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4767,"url":"http:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=4767","url_meta":{"origin":983,"position":5},"title":"Police Psychology: Holidays in Law Enforcement","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"November 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Holidays in Law Enforcement by\u00a0 Gary S. 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