\u00a0<\/p>\n
![\"Arrow\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/arrow.jpg\"){kind=icon}
<\/a>People tend to see emotions in terms of their opposites\u2026but does this mindset negatively effect your mental health?<\/p><\/div>\n
In therapy<\/em>, while working in police psychology, I have learned that very negative people tend to suffer from \u201cShit City Syndrome,\u201d meaning that their cynicism and view of life cause them to see all the bad parts of a situation.\u00a0 Then they complain that they aren\u2019t enjoying life.\u00a0 Realize that your evaluations of the world cause you to create your world while you are evaluating it.\u00a0 Essentially, if you see yourself in \u201cshit city\u201d you will live in \u201cshit city\u201d and lead a miserable existence.\u00a0 It is sort of a turn on the self-fulfilling prophecy which is basically the evaluation of the self<\/a> creates the self as you interact with the world.<\/span><\/p>\n To overcome this syndrome I use the Myth of Emotional Opposites<\/strong>.\u00a0 I use this in my speeches, as well as, in my therapy.<\/span><\/p>\n I first ask the person what is the opposite of \u201cpain,\u201d and invariably get the word \u201cpleasure.\u201d\u00a0 I ask then the opposite of \u201clove,\u201d and get the answer \u201chate.\u201d\u00a0 Finally, I ask for the opposite of \u201chappy,\u201d and get \u201csad\u201d as the answer.\u00a0 This is the setup, as I have gotten the same answers in a room full of mental health professionals, just like I\u2019ve gotten the answer in a room full of everyday people.<\/span><\/p>\n I then have the person visualize that they have a compound fracture of the leg.\u00a0 They fell over the doorway and broke their leg badly.\u00a0 The bone is sticking out.\u00a0 I ask them if they are in pain and they invariably reply yes<\/i>.\u00a0 Then, I tell them at the same time as they are writhing in pain waiting for the ambulance to come, their friend comes over and says, \u201cremember last week when we were at that seminar with the fat guy (me) and we bought a lottery ticket.\u00a0 Well, I just found out we won 134 million dollars.\u201d\u00a0 I then ask \u201cNow, are you still in pain?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I get stumbling when I ask this second question.\u00a0 They can\u2019t make sense of it.\u00a0 Pain and pleasure are opposites; they can\u2019t exist together.\u00a0 Are you in pain or pleasure?\u00a0 On the continuum line, pain and pleasure are on the opposite ends, so which is it?\u00a0 You\u2019re definitely in pain; you have a compound fracture.\u00a0 And, if you are not in pleasure after winning 67 million dollars you\u2019re a little weird.\u00a0 I mean, you can\u2019t be in love and hate someone at the same time, or can you?\u00a0 You can\u2019t be happy and sad at the same time, can you?<\/span><\/p>\n Then I make my point, pain and pleasure are not opposites.\u00a0 The opposite of an emotion or a feeling is not another emotion; it is the lack of an emotion.\u00a0 The opposite of pain is no feeling.\u00a0 The opposite of pleasure is no feeling.\u00a0 The opposite of love is indifference; the opposite of hate is no feeling.\u00a0 And this simple concept can lift you out of Shit City.<\/span><\/p>\n You see, the natural tendency for people is if there is a negative feeling, they don\u2019t allow positive feelings to exist, or they reduce the positive feeling so much it has no value.\u00a0 Emotional<\/em> Shit City!\u00a0 But our life has many different facets and we can be unhappy about say the relationship in our life and be happy about the amount of money we earn.\u00a0 Or we can be sad for a loss in our life<\/a>, but still enjoy the joys of an errant rose or a nice email card.\u00a0 Our need is to focus on the parts of life that are going well, and allow time and other healing methods to happen in the bad areas.<\/span><\/p>\n Find the good things in your life, and focus on them, instead of letting the bad overwhelm you.<\/p><\/div>\n Now it may sound a long way to go to teach a concept most people know that is common sense.\u00a0 But remember, people don\u2019t live with common sense.\u00a0 In fact, common sense is not common at all.\u00a0 They lose commons sense in emotion.\u00a0 This technique has had a profound impact on people going through a grief process, people having problems with a teenager, people who have lost a love in their life, or even people after a critical incident.\u00a0 It lessens the load and gives them permission to have some fun without feeling guilty because they have one bad thing in their life.\u00a0 It is a powerful technique and can stop a person from feeling overwhelmed and consumed with something that happened to them. Implementing such a technique can help put the happiness and simplicity<\/a> back in your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Good luck with it if you choose to try it. If you enjoyed this stress tip, sign up to receive updates for more posts on the latest in police psychology and stress management.<\/p>\n Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D. ABPP<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Follow me on this blog click at left of page at the top of the sidebar<\/span><\/p>\n For books by Dr. Gary S. Aumiller got to http:\/\/www.myherodad.com<\/a> or http:\/\/www.myheromom.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n Join me on Facebook or Linkedin (see sidebar).<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Myth of Emotional Opposites \u00a0 In therapy, while working in police psychology, I have learned that very negative people tend to suffer from \u201cShit City Syndrome,\u201d meaning that their cynicism and view of life cause them to see all the bad parts of a situation.\u00a0 Then they complain that they aren\u2019t enjoying life.\u00a0 Realize […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17165629],"tags":[17168800,17168797,17168817,17168816],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotions","tag-mental-health","tag-police-psychology","tag-stress-management","tag-stress-tip"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3915,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=3915","url_meta":{"origin":31,"position":0},"title":"Police Psychology | Myth of Emotional Opposites: Video Post","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"August 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | The Myth of Emotional Opposites:\u00a0 Video Post by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.\u00a0 ABPP A myth that holds people back from having a good time in life if in a crisis. \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Emotions"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Emotions","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17165629"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":816,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=816","url_meta":{"origin":31,"position":1},"title":"Police Psychology | Emotional Labor in the Workplace","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"October 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Emotional Labor in the Workplace \u00a0 Police psychology has to deal very often with an ultimate question: does the person really like being a police officer?\u00a0\u00a0 For the most part the answer is \u201cyes\u2026but\u201d with the \u201cbut\u201d usually being something about a boss. Everyone likes to complain\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Rank and Leadership"","block_context":{"text":"Rank and Leadership","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168887"},"img":{"alt_text":"Police psychology: frustrated girl","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Frustrated-girl-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6275,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=6275","url_meta":{"origin":31,"position":2},"title":"Police Psychology: Emotional\/Social Intelligence","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"July 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology:\u00a0 Emotional\/Social Intelligence New Software Upgrade for Police Officers by William Cottringer, Ph.D. Effective policing involves excellent use of all cognitive skills, especially emotional and social intelligence (E\/SQ) Emotional\/social intelligence can best be defined as involving the following group of skills: 1. Self-awareness. This is the ability to know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Public Information Bureau"","block_context":{"text":"Public Information Bureau","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168888"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1456,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=1456","url_meta":{"origin":31,"position":3},"title":"Police Psychology | \u201cBRING A BUDDY\u201d","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"April 12, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | \u201cBRING A BUDDY\u201d By: Marla Friedman, Psy.D. PC Police Psychologist Executive Board-Badge of Life For years I have been training First Responders on the importance of seeking and maintaining good mental health. As you can imagine I\u2019ve come up against a lot of resistance. Fighting the stigma\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Other Tools"","block_context":{"text":"Other Tools","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168889"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3979,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=3979","url_meta":{"origin":31,"position":4},"title":"Police Psychology | An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"August 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure Robert John Zagar PhD MPH and Brandon Northern Current ways of finding challenges like trauma and stress miss 61% of at-risk. Conventional approaches of interviews, background checks, and short paper and pencil tests are less than chance\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Police Stress"","block_context":{"text":"Police Stress","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168885"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4552,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=4552","url_meta":{"origin":31,"position":5},"title":"Police Psychology | Emotional Pinball","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"October 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Emotional Pinball by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.\u00a0 ABPP \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Mastering Emotions"","block_context":{"text":"Mastering Emotions","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17165629"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p60sbO-v","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1229,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions\/1229"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Myth Revealed<\/h2>\n
Remove Stress with this Powerful Technique<\/h3>\n
<\/a>
\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n