![\"funeral,](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/funeral-2.jpg?resize=232%2C251\")
<\/a>I attended the funeral. It was a lot to take in and process. I saw the long lines of the public, the Freedom Riders and military standing roadside, the lines of officers and families\u2019 string into the high school. It was the only place large enough to house the service, and they still had to limit the fire service from attending. They instead stood on the procession route, at attention, waiting to pay their respects.<\/span><\/p>\nThere were civilian and officer viewing times, with the funeral being set for the time all officers were there. Line after line after line of groups of officers stood waiting. One was at least 100 strong, they came from all over the country, local, state, federal and I saw a few international officers too. I stood within this sea of uniforms, and watched the tears, the shaking shoulders, and stares off into the distance throughout the events. I saw the lines, officer after officer, united by a badge with a singular purpose. I also saw laughter, handshakes and hugs. I heard the word \u2018brother\u2019 over and over. I listened to the bag pipes as the casket was moved to the hearse, as people stood at attention, the crowd rapt in silence, with tears sliding down own faces.<\/span><\/p>\nThe saying \u201cMany Badges, One Family\u201d, observed on several signs along the road, was certainly a truth.<\/span><\/p>\nI also rode in the procession the whole 18 miles, which was very emotionally moving and exhausting. It was a privilege. Scores of people, departments and businesses stood at the side of the road. It seemed everything was awash with blue and black ribbons and signs of support. Signs reflected support for him, for the department, and their loss. People were weeping, cheering, holding signs, blowing kisses to the cars as they passed. People were standing at attention, holding their hands over their hearts, waving flags, calling support to each department as we passed. Signs also reflected support for the police in general as well. The retired military stood straight and tall at attention next to an American flag. They, too, were often weeping. One image that sticks in my mind was a solitary standing figure of a young adult who had obvious multiple impairments, attempting to salute, his crooked arms and fingers at his brow, tears just streaming. His thin shoulders were shaking and his sorrow apparent. There were children with blue tears painted on their faces, signs reflecting police as their heroes. I held my composure until near the end when we went under an overpass and it was silent, where the signs, flags and buntings spoke volumes. It was beautiful, profound and so sad.<\/span><\/p>\nSince then, the conversations have gotten harder. My heart hurts for the sadness I see on their faces, in their eyes, and hear in their voices. The helplessness I hear at not having a resolution is painful. I hear the fear and apprehension for news they are pretty sure is coming next in the media. There is no good way out of this situation<\/span><\/p>\nbut only through it.<\/span><\/p>\nThe longer it is in the media and unresolved, the more contentious it is becoming and the community can barely tolerate the fear they are experiencing while it is still in investigation phase. It is hard to watch, hard to wait and hard to tolerate the speculation. There have been a series of interviews where the undercurrent between the various parties implies the worst about the way the other party is handling some aspect of the case. The community waits, fearful of murders amongst them. How long can this tension and fear last before it becomes anger or disillusionment?<\/span><\/p>\nThen as we came into the second week, the tone amongst the officers has shifted from grief, to restless disbelief and apprehension for the worst case scenario. Given their training, they speculate, knowing their own set of facts, their hypotheses, and their tendencies are to resolve the riddle. When we talk, they wonder aloud. Everyone I\u2019ve spoken with knows a little piece of something, and each conversation gives me a piece from their perspective or experience. The speculation is rampant about the events, the details and what happened. The alternative hypotheses abound. Being curious, I so badly want more details to clarify or verify, but know that is not what the purpose of the conversation. It all makes sense, none of it makes sense. It is painful to watch and hear, at the personal officer level, at the larger police culture level, and potentially now, for our society.<\/span><\/p>\nReviewing and trying to make sense of the details they know aside, if I summarized the conversations, they would seem to flow like this:<\/span><\/p>\n1. It\u2019s easier to believe it happened when it is somewhere else.<\/span><\/p>\n2. Maybe public sentiment will turn the tide, and they will see we bleed too.<\/span><\/p>\n3. Sure they love us when they\u2019re scared, sheep always love us when they are scared or feel threatened.<\/span><\/p>\n4. What\u2019s wrong with me that I\u2019m thinking this might be a suicide?<\/span><\/p>\n5. What if it is a suicide?<\/span><\/p>\n6. If it was a suicide, he still deserved the funeral, the memorials, the attention of the community. I will stand by that forever.<\/span><\/p>\n7. How can I handle the betrayal if it is? I helped look for those people of interest, I did\u2026.., I went to the funeral, I cried, I held my wife\u2019s hand and cried like a baby, and if it is suicide? What about the family? The explorers, especially the ones who went into the profession because of him?<\/span><\/p>\n8. The community will blame us, and me personally, for letting them believe that we deserve their support and love. For the spectacle, for the intrusion on the lives, for the fear that was not necessary. The hate will really start, maybe even justifying their (mis)beliefs about our jobs in their society.<\/span><\/p>\n9. Why should they trust us? I don\u2019t think I can trust us.<\/span><\/p>\n10. If this could be the cause where a guy as squared away as he was could do this, what about the other guys who I look up to, how can I trust them?<\/span><\/p>\n11. Who in my department is going to do something like this, so I have to go through this again? Do I have to look at every squared away \u2013 \u201cgot it all together\u201d guy with skepticism now? I already worry about \u2026..<\/span><\/p>\n12. I am embarrassed, angry, bitter, and my wife is besides herself thinking that I\u2019m next.<\/span><\/p>\n13. Why bother? They hate me when it\u2019s good, they hate me when it\u2019s bad.<\/span><\/p>\n14. I love what this badge stands for, but I don\u2019t know if I can keep the battle up with the war inside and outside.<\/span><\/p>\n15. Just tell us the answer of the manner of death, give us the facts, let the community know what it needs to know, the truth. Support them through the same grief, disbelief and anger we feel. If they could only understand we\u2019d feel the same sense of betrayal and anguish they feel.<\/span><\/p>\n16. What is this industry going to do about all this? Where is the leadership on the daily level?<\/span><\/p>\n17. What about the next LODD? Will the community trust us to catch the person? What if it is me next? Someone I know? If it is a suicide, what will that mean for us? For the community?<\/span><\/p>\n18. What about the young guys, the new ones? What about their families? Why should they stay in? People want to kill us, it\u2019s open season on us. We have suicide rates and health problems and hate society back. Why bother? I should just do my time and get out.<\/span><\/p>\n19. What will I do when I get out, I\u2019m \u201cthe police\u201d, it isn\u2019t what I do, it is who I am.<\/span><\/p>\nCops being cops, the conversations have been pushing towards resolution, and their cynicism and career experience is creating a vast range of possibilities of what really happened in the events that led to his death. At this point, I know much too much, and much too little. It is hard to know what is and is not fact, and everything I\u2019m hearing is plausible. As it is an open investigation, I can\u2019t comment about the specifics as I write this to bring clarity. When they move to the personal impact on themselves, I don\u2019t know how to help them other than listen, validate, support, and remind them of why they started in this profession. I know whatever I do is going to feel to me that I am helpless to stop this tidal wave. If I could just deal with this officer and his death, that would be one thing, but this is about a societal thing that is going to get worse before it gets better. \u201cThe Police\u201d will be in the cross-hairs of society as both enemies and protectors, and the scrutiny will get worse for them before it gets better. Each officer I talked with made a statement to me acknowledging this burden they carry. This event was bigger than the death of my brother, it impacted my entire family, and me personally, they seem to say. I sit and absorb this heaviness. How do you respond in any effective way? What is the answer?<\/span><\/p>\nWas the death a homicide, accidental or self-inflicted? Once this line of thinking started, my core went from sad and wondering to how to take care of my folks in the larger context of society and what might happen to law enforcement and its officers. I felt defeated. I cried. I had a crisis of faith in mankind. I reached out to others. Our fear for our officers contains commonalities:<\/span><\/p>\n1. The community at large, at best, is ambivalent towards its police. The sheep love the police when they are afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n2. The police officers I observed were profoundly moved by the outpouring of support for the officer, his family and department by the community.<\/span><\/p>\n3. The police officers I observed were profoundly moved by the outpouring of support for the police by the community. This event became more than about one officers\u2019 death; it became a cause for this community to demonstrate support for \u201cthe police\u201d as a whole.<\/span><\/p>\n4. If it is determined to be anything other than a homicide, this may be a devastating blow to law enforcement as a whole across the nation. They feared they wouldn\u2019t recover, that there was no way to save face.<\/span><\/p>\nSo here is my \u201cworking\u201d approach. I ask how they are doing, to which they always reply \u201cfine\u201d. I smile and nod. I chat, cleverly distracting them (well at least in my mind), about whatever. Eventually the real conversation begins. I try to be the support they need. I also work from the assumption that they are indeed managing and doing what they need to do to be effective in their roles. In the absence of data suggesting otherwise, that is a fair thing to do. An incident, even one as significant as this, may not be a significant incident to the individual, where there may be lasting trauma. People have emotions and reactions to situations. Understanding that is<\/span><\/p>\nimportant. Understanding that this experience does not warrant a FFDE is also important, unless there is indeed evidence for this. A lot of guys \u201cjoked\u201d if I was going to send them for a FFDE because they cried at the funeral. I hugged them, and I\u2019m sure they might have preferred the FFDE.<\/span><\/p>\nVery often my conversations are about how you can be wrestling with something, and yet be functioning well. You can be sad or angry, and yet not be consumed by it. People can be resilient and manage to be many things at once. The goal is not to absent of emotion or reaction, but to be integrated and adaptive. To maintain one\u2019s humanity, while in a challenging culture and set of demands. There is delineation for them, different than compartmentalization or minimizing. It is our job to observe for when that becomes problematic and blatantly obvious, and intervene accordingly when impairment is obvious.<\/span><\/p>\nAnother attribute is that they see life beyond a career, where they take their skills and knowledge into another phase of their life. I need to look closer at the literature about rates of accident and injury close to transition periods in their careers. I see this as a major area where we can be helpful. How do we help with transition anticipation and transition for this group?<\/span><\/p>\nThe most frequently repeated topic is there is a pride in wearing the badge and uniform, that it actually an exemplification of what they believe in their core. The internal locus of control centered in values that are integrated into their identity. This is an important observation in my healthier officers. It is a lifestyle they would lead even if they weren\u2019t officers. For those whose identities are values based, being an officer allows them to live congruently with their values, and they seem to be processing through these events differently than those who don\u2019t present with that set of beliefs. But when the core beliefs and values come under fire, they hurt down to their soul.<\/span><\/p>\nOne officer said something like this to me today, \u201cthis is what we do, we face the things society gives us.\u201d He spoke of weathering the storm, regardless of the animosity, while praying that the support they received as real, that it doesn\u2019t get revoked. Although he has aspirations of life beyond this career, this career allows him the best quality of life he can imagine. After the two weeks we\u2019ve all had, a moment of hope occurred in that second for me. If they can weather it, I\u2019ll be in good company while I try too.![\"funeral](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/funeral-3.jpg?resize=256%2C201\")
<\/a><\/span><\/p>\nThank you for allowing me to share these rambling thoughts with you. I appreciate any comments, supportive suggestions and directions to help me help my sheepdogs. I don\u2019t know how to protect them from what might be coming. Sometimes, being a Keeper of the Sheepdogs sucks, but man, I wouldn\u2019t want to be anywhere but there. Peace, Kammie Juzwin<\/span><\/p>\nGary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\nPlease share this article from down below.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\nPlease join the email list on the top of the sidebar and you can get these sent to you email box.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\nCome back regularly for more updated blogs on police psychology<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Police Psychology | Funeral for a Friend by Kammie Juzwin Like many of us, I am sitting here tonight with a heavy heart at the loss of so many police officers in violent altercations, the current culture and attitudes towards our first responders. In my role as a Police Psychologist, I\u2019ve had a really hard […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[17168933,17168797,17168831],"class_list":["post-740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories","tag-funeral","tag-police-psychology","tag-police-stress"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":149,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=149","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":0},"title":"Police Psychology | Know Your Hero","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"April 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Know Your Hero \u00a0 Heroes and heroism is important in police psychology. Let me tell you about one of my heroes. Over 30 years ago, Suzie Sawyer served as National Secretary for the Fraternal Order of Police Auxiliary and she proposed holding an annual National Memorial Service for police officers\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stories"","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Police psychology: unsung heroes deserve recognition","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/unsunghero.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/unsunghero.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/unsunghero.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7132,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=7132","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":1},"title":"Police Psychology Book Review: Towards the integration of police psychology techniques to combat juvenile delinquency in K-12 classrooms","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"December 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology Book Review:\u00a0 Rose, Gary. (2013) Towards the integration of police psychology techniques to combat juvenile delinquency in K-12 classrooms by Paul Cech \u00a0 Gary Rose revised his doctoral dissertation to create a book that will be of special interest to readers who are peace officers; teachers; police, school,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168876"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3646,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=3646","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":2},"title":"Police Psychology | Stalking the Stalker","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"August 1, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Stalking the Stalker Hamish Brown, MBE Hamish retired in 2004 as a Detective Inspector on the Specialist Crime Directorate at New Scotland Yard after over 30 years service with the Metropolitan Police, London England \u00a0 It is easy to think stalking is all about celebrities and the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Public Information Bureau"","block_context":{"text":"Public Information Bureau","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168888"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":949,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=949","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":3},"title":"Police Psychology | How Policing Can Be Improved with Science","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"January 5, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | How Policing Can Be Improved with Science \u00a0Marcus Clarke is the author of psysci.co a psychology blog that examines the latest research and explains findings in simple terms. Police forces around the world face increasing pressure, from cuts to funding to new forms of crime, so ensuring\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Rank and Leadership"","block_context":{"text":"Rank and Leadership","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168887"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":386,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=386","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":4},"title":"Police Psychology | The Police Candidate Interpretive Report","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The Police Candidate Interpretive Report \u00a0 I had one of the first cell phones for public consumption.\u00a0 It fit in a bag.\u00a0 The battery lasted minutes not hours, and it was essentially a car phone that could be moved around.\u00a0 But visions of Dick Tracy\u2019s watch and Agent 86\u2019s shoe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Tests"","block_context":{"text":"Tests","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168877"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":455,"url":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?p=455","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":5},"title":"Police Psychology | Officers Disproportionally Killing Black Men: Another False Narrative","author":"Gary Aumiller","date":"June 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Police Psychology | Officers Disproportionally Killing Black Men:\u00a0 Another False Narrative Guest Blogger Ron Martinelli, Ph.D., is an internationally renowned forensic criminologist and police expert directing the nation\u2019s only multidisciplinary Forensic Death Investigations and Independent Review Team at www.martinelliandassoc.com.\u00a0 His perspanl website is at www.drronmartinelli.com \u00a0 Among several prominent false\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Public Information Bureau"","block_context":{"text":"Public Information Bureau","link":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/?cat=17168888"},"img":{"alt_text":"martinelli image","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/martinelli-image-300x172.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p60sbO-bW","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/740","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=740"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/740\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":747,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/740\/revisions\/747"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=740"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=740"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/policepsychologyblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=740"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"funeral,](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/policepsychologyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/funeral1.jpg\")
<\/a>current culture and attitudes towards our first responders. In my role as a Police Psychologist, I\u2019ve had a really hard string of days emotionally, coming back from yet another conversation with someone in distress about working as \u201cthe police\u201d. It\u2019s been like that for almost two weeks. The recent media attention on police deaths is tragic, but there was some degree of insulation as it was \u201cthere\u201d. But, it came home on Tuesday 1 September 2015, when an agency local had an officer die in the line of duty. This is about 30 miles north from my department, and many officers I know have personal and professional ties to the officers, department and\/or case. I have ties to that department. It has occupied the news here, both in print and on-air. It hit the national news as well. Throughout the days as I\u2019ve had calls from, and had face time, with commissioners, officers, family members and administrators, I\u2019ve come to know their grief, fear, shock and anger.<\/span><\/p>\n