Archive for the ‘Mastering Emotions’ Category

Police Psychology | If I Can Just Get Through This Month

by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.  ABPP

“…and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter’s…” fight!  Perhaps if Clement Clarke Moore would have written his poem in 2016 instead of 1822, this may have been the line in “Twas the Night Before Christmas.”  Many don’t find a serene “nap” on their schedule, in fact many “just want to get through it.”  Get through the holidays is the major sentiment that a psychologist sees in his office from mothers, and fathers, and cops and most people out there.  They often don’t let each other know in social relationships, but they sure do say it a lot in to a psychologist, even when we don’t ask.  I just want to get through this damn holiday season without “going broke,” “without ringing someone’s neck,” “without getting a divorce,” “without killing my kids…” “Maybe I’ll just work Christmas and Christmas Eve.”  The joys of the holidays!!

Holidays are a time when many people are happy, and quite a few are miserable or just powering through it.  If you have an overly controlling person(s) in the family, you have obnoxiously opinionated people in the family (you should have heard some of the stories after Thanksgiving this year, less than a month after the election), you have someone in the family who has a personality disorder, or you even have kids who missed the discretion and manners line on the way out of heaven, you could be in for a rough holiday.  Or if you have a family from Mars and you’re from Sheboygan, watch out, the Grinch lives in each of us and “his heart hasn’t grown 3 sizes that day” yet.  Well, Doc, can’t I just keep a positive attitude and get through it?  Bring a video camera, I want to see that solely for entertainment purposes.  Can’t I just avoid everyone this Christmas?  Do me a favor and make sure the battery on that camera is charged and please don’t throw it against the wall smashing it into a thousand pieces before I see. (more…)

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Police Psychology | 12 Greatest Hits

by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.  ABPP

My brother contacted me a few months back and said he was writing his “Greatest Hits.”  I said, “Roy, the problem is you don’t have any major hits, in fact you stopped playing guitar in college.”  Roy was a country crooner with a great style and a dream in high school, but he gave it up and entered the real world.  So, Roy responded back, “Everyone has a ‘Greatest Hits’ in them, they just might not be songs on a record” (I didn’t bother to tell him that records were a thing of the past.  After all, he is my older brother by three years).  “I am writing the greatest things I ever did, the times I was spot on and just hit it.”  So, I asked him if this was a Maslow self-actualization thing you do at the end of life.  He said “nah, I just wanted to know I had done some things right.  You should try it.”

Everything is Negative

Not that I want to admit that my retired drug salesman brother gave me a great psychological technique I use with people all the time, but we do live in a very negative world.  I mean, I wake up in the mornings and read the news in New York and feel like Armageddon is upon us.  Writing your “12 Greatest Hits” does lift your spirits and does make you think about the good you have done in the world, and you don’t have to be a psychologist to suggest it to someone.  You can be a boss or a supervisor or even a spouse.  Write about family, work, social life, something you’ve done for someone, just sort of spread the good cheer all around.  It is great idea for the holidays, but even more for you personally to feel good for a change.  Let me give you a couple of mine as example: (more…)

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Police Psychology | Brain Eaters

By Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.  ABPP

In Telugu language, the second most popular language in India, they have a phrase that is highly important in police psychology – burra tinoddu. police psychology, zombie, police stressNot to be confused with the “Lion King’s” Hakuna Matata which tells you not to worry and be happy eating grubs and big juicy beetles, Burra Tinoddu roughly means “Don’t eat my brain.”   Damn, there are a lot of brain-eaters out there! And, the holidays just bring them out of the woodwork. We all have various interpersonal relationships: friends, family, spouses, children, bosses, co-workers, even the employees behind the counter at our favorite restaurants or coffee shops. In general, interpersonal relationships are very positive, and they are healthy for your own personal growth and development. However, we all have some people in our lives that are just physically and mentally draining. We walk away from any experience with them feeling like we just ran a full-marathon, and then hiked across the Sahara desert, and finished by climbing Mount Everest. And that’s when we’ve spoken to them for five minutes—don’t get me started on how we feel after talking to them for a whole hour. They are worse than zombies when eating your brain. At least zombies don’t talk incessantly. (more…)

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Police Psychology | Emotional Pinball

by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.  ABPP

 

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Police Psychology | Where Has All the Laughter Gone?

by Gary S. Aumiller, Ph.D.

 

Cop humor is iconic but it is disappearing and we should try to figure out why.  In fact, those in police psychology understand the importance of laughter and laughing to our overall well-beings (particularly in helping cops deal with stress). AGirl Laughingnd yet, we don’t laugh anymore. There, I said it.

Now before you get all upset and yell that this isn’t true, let me explain myself. I’m 60 years old, and I have an 9-year-old daughter. I’ve noticed young parents with kids her age don’t laugh with their kids as much as my parents did with me, or as much as I do with my daughter. And this sets in motion a vicious cycle in which children laugh less and less as the years and generations go on and on.  What is going to happen to them? (more…)

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